APOLITICAL APHORISMS

As requests for money increase in fury, and the political scene explodes before our eyes, I thought these Apolitical aphorisms would be a bit of fun. Especially fun for me since I discovered yesterday, I've been the victim of on-line fraud. More on that as I sort through several critical projects. The aphorisms were sent to me in an email and have been around for a longtime. Hope you enjoy them.

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

 The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~Henry Cate, VII~

 We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~Aesop~

 If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these Electionspeeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~ 

 Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become Prime Minister or Premier; I'm beginning to believe it.

~Clarence Darrow~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~Author unknown~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

 Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

 I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~

 A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Tex Guinan~

 I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

 Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson~

 There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.

~Will Rogers~

LAUGHTER IS HEALTHY

As some of you may know, I get a little goofy about signs I see along the way. Being on the road so much tends to make you notice things others just speed by, and we actually obey the speed limit. So, it came as a surprise to me to learn about Doug Lanksky's website,  http://www.signspotting.com.
He categorizes them into subjects such as: Accidentally R rated, Lost in Translation, Warnings and so on. Well meant, but funny as in BABY ON ROAD?  The sign was photographed in China. Probably Lost In Translation for Baby On Board. Or a church sign by Pastor John Needham. BEHOLD, I COME QUICKLY.  Or how about these intellectual cows from Laytonville, CA.  COWS! PLEASE KEEP GATE CLOSED. Well, it does validate my own obsession. Doug accepts sign photos from people around the world. I may send him some.

I took this photo on Marthas Vineyard. It was on a T-shirt. The guy wearing it told me he works for the company. I didn't ask him where the company was located.

 

 This shirt was in the bait and tackle shop window.

Humorous quips are always fun but since we aren't television watchers, we don't hear many. Readers Digest printed some funnies. I'll pass on this Jay Leno quip that I liked: "The United States has developed a weapon that destroys people but leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market."  Too Apt.

And this just before Mother's Day from Barack Obama about his rather rough talking Chief of Staff: "This is a tough holiday for Rahm Emanuel. He's not used to saying the word day after mother."

And how about these fly-ins gleaned from the travel site skyscanner.net by Sam Baldwin:
Batman Airport (Turkey)
Useless Loop (Australia)
Moron Airport (Spain)
Eek Airport (Alaska)
Tsili Tsili Airport (Papua New Guinea)

They are all pretty understandable, but Batman Airport???  Hmmm!
I discovered a few other funny websites while looking around.   http://www.fark.com/ 
On this site, Drew Curtis picks out amusing, dumbass, stupid, etc. items from newspapers.

Another is Michael Bender's http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com

One of my favorites found in an antique shop in Revere, MA.
And this one:

I've forgotten the name of this very small town we passed through somewhere in New England. But, it you need coffee, and there is no other place in site, you are gonna stop.