GETTING READY

All around me are the signs of Halloween. Yet unpicked pumpkin fields both yellow and white.

 Pumkins waiting on the porch to become jack-o-lanterns...


Kids rushing the season a bit by toilet-papering this house...





And, finding a bloody hand in your yard.Hmm!
Par for the course, around here. We definitely have spirits interested in making Halloween a fun event. It has become a huge event in recent years... big business as well. Kids scaring each other silly, scary costumes, frightening stories, great ghoulish stuff to choose from every where you shop. What's not to like?
The candy. Give me Christmas any day for candy. Halloween candy sucks.

My email, just like yours has scads of great Halloween jokes, but one card this year is the best: http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/bws8Shell.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3125133/graphic1

TOILET PAPER...AGAIN!

The first alteration to the new motor home was relocating the toilet paper roll in a more convenient place. I'm a bit reluctant to bring up the homely subject of toilet paper again, but, here goes...

I once laughed at the Ann Landers column when she discussed the proper way, according to her readers, to hang the roll. Letters flew in with top vs. bottom rollers. There have been divorces over the correct or incorrect, depending on your point of view, way to hang toilet paper.
Egads! Is there anything more earthshaking going on than toilet paper?

But, here is a sample from my email:

I've just read that seventy-six percent of Americans prefer to have their toilet paper unroll from over the top. Not surprisingly, though, I'm among the elite twenty-four percent who are bottom unrollers.

I've always thought that arm length matters in this case. A person with short arms (like most women) can easily grasp the end of the paper when it is in front and near the top, while a person with longer arms (like me) has to bend his elbow and wrist inconveniently with the paper so placed. On the other hand, having the end of the paper in the back and hanging below allows the longer-armed person to grasp the paper with his arm in a less awkward position.

Aren't you glad you have me to help you with these issues (or tissues, if you prefer)?

H.

And now, I have a confession to make. I've never even told my kids this elucidating information. When I got married, my husband informed me he had to have the toilet paper roll from the bottom. He couldn't stand it any other way. The marriage lasted 40 years, all because of toilet paper.
So, there you have it. I'm a bottom roller and Jim's a top roller. So, whoever changes the roll governs. We gotta keep the peace in the family. And this, I swear, is the last word on the subject.
LOL

THE WEAKER SEX

I know a lot about men. I should, I was married to one for 40 years. I've got five brothers, two sons, assorted sons and brothers-in-law, a new partner... I'm somewhat of an expert. I'll let you in on a little secret, men all share a common terror, RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER.
How is it that the so called stronger sex gets positively shaky when it comes to toilet paper?
My sister one time confessed to me that her husband bought toilet paper every time he went into a store whether it was needed or not-'just in case." Not until the packages had taken over his tool space in the garage did he finally get the point, temporarily, anyway.
As for Jim and I, we live in a relatively confined space and one of the things you learn about living on the road, you can't 'stock-up shop' like you do at home. So, what's the problem?. We're not on the Gobi Desert
Shucks, there is a store in just about every two-bit haven we travel through and, in fact, there is a little store carrying most essentials in almost every campground or park we stay in. Here at Paradise we can see the store from our motor home window, its a one minute walk away, but does that matter? Run out of TP and the heavens are going to collide and some horrible force of evil will occupy your waking life forever! Now, you have surely guessed, this is MY FAULT, even though we make out our shopping list and shop together.
My belly aches from laughing, but Jim is only reluctantly smiling. He really can't see what is SOOOOO funny.
Alas. Life on the road carries its little inconveniences, you can manage without beer, meat, fruit, lettuce, shampoo... but God forbid we should ever run out of toilet paper.