Monday, October 26, 2015


About 9:30 Sunday morning, Jim and I walked my rural road. Overcast- the air moist and heavy, pregnant with the portent of rain. The wind sang and danced the oak leaves in races across the driveway and roads. Change hung in the air. The seasons change. Our relationship changed.

Over tears and hugs we’ve talked and made hard decisions-diverted paths. For the foreseeable future, I am taking on long neglected projects, keeping promises made, that belong to a property owner with a lifetime of accumulated “stuff” and responsibilities.

My first task will be to join a genealogy class and finish a promise made to my mother who worked hard before she died to get five generations with proofs to register and publish in the Latter Day Saints Genealogical Library in Utah. A task entrusted to me that I must do.

My house in Oregon, a book I started to write, other promises to myself, my family and just realizing that in every life, nothing is more constant than change. I’m looking forward to changing the way I live more toward Jim’s philosophy. He says he only knows one way to live, and that is “one day at a time.”
We care about each other and hope to travel together in the future. We will maintain a loving friendship and I will do my part to accomplish my long put off tasks. And he will embrace his favored lifestyle without me for an unknown period of time. He estimates 5 years, I estimate 2 years. But, we shall see.

I was married for 40 years before my husband died. Then I had a wonderful companion for 4-1/2 years that also ended in death.
And, now, the future seems uncertain and deciding on separate paths has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. This transition was not a decision made lightly, but with respect, consideration and heartache, too. And we wanted everyone to know that we aren’t throwing rocks at each other.

I also want you to know that Jimmy the rat kicked me off our blog!! Dang!

Well, not exactly. He has long felt that my rants don’t belong on a travel blog. So, for those of you who are inclined to follow my blogs you can reach me on When I travel I will blog on all three sites, blog spot, SF. Chronicle and Jim and Mary. The Chronicle automatically puts my blog on FB where it reaches my back East relatives.
Jim threatened to post all the pictures he has taken of me over the years. I have plenty of his photos, too, but not all of them are in one file. But I did go through a bunch of favorites.
007 (Copy)My first bouquet of flowers from Jim. 016 (Copy).
IMG_2075 (Copy)What a ham.
IMG_1145 (Copy) (Copy)The Planner. Always charting our way with precision.
IMG_2080 (Copy)Biking the canals in Yuma.
IMG_2358 (Copy)The not so subtle message that it is too cold in my house.
IMG_2449 (Copy).
IMG_2452 (Copy)He took care of me during my shoulder surgery, helping me get dressed everyday and tending to my every need.
KITE MUSEUM-25 (Copy)Opening up fresh oysters on the barbeque.  (Notice the hammar)
IMG_8630 (Copy)Always the ham. We had so much fun.
The first picture I took of Jim the day we met.

Bye-for now.


Unknown said...

Hi Mary
I am subscribing to your new blog as I have enjoyed your writings as much as my cousin Jim's! Your rants are usually in the same vein as mine especially when it comes to politics!! I hope that your one or two weeks of travel a year someday includes another trip back east as the last time I saw Jim you were not with him and I would have loved to meet you face to face. Good luck with your obligations at home. I have lived vicariously thru the two of you for quite a while. As exciting as I find it, I cannot imagine doing what Jim has done for as long as he has. My life and loves (kids and grandkids) would never allow it for me. But I look forward to your new chapter and I am glad you are both still crazy about your friendship. Best of luck.

Mary Matzek said...

Thank you very much. We may meet sometime because I've got the bug for the road after all these years with Jim. I put off so many things to do it, and now it is time to "pay the piperm" as they say. This last year, I got more and more anxious to get home and in my bones, I knew It was time. Ciao