FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME

In the 1950′s, Andy Warhol made the prediction: “In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.”  It is one of his better known and oft used quotes and resonated with the public.  I think everyone feels they deserve “their 15 minutes of fame”, or attention or fun in the sun at some point in their lives.  Real fame is a double-edged sword anyway, as famous people will tell you. Better to have your fifteen minutes, which, in a round about way,  brings me to Jim and Ginnie Palumbo, friends from New Jersey,  I met through my partner, Jim. Last night they appeared on the Dr. Oz Show. I am not a television watcher but was alerted ahead of time and managed to catch a glimpse of them with Dr. Oz.

What Oz did was pass out test tube tasters of an unnamed “sports drink” and then asked audience members if it gave them the expected energetic lift. Ginnie agreed that it had, but also commented, “well it tasted a little like seltzer.” The power of suggestion, of course, is very powerful in a setting like this.

Oz hugged her and said, “I’m glad you said that because that is what you are drinking is seltzer.”  The whole point of that particular segment was to make people aware of what they are swigging, mega amounts of sugar and caffeine and  many marketing lies, just like he “lied” because  his seltzer was not really a sports drink.  Diabetes is epidemic in this country as is obesity. Sports drinks are major contributors.  So, if you are hooked on them, watch out. They give you a high and then drop you like a yo-yo. Dr. Oz claimed he decided to look into them when he noticed severe interruptions in his sleep patterns after trying sports drinks.

So Ginnie got part of her fifteen minutes on the National Dr. Oz show. Her husband Jim was across the aisle from her, but each time the camera picked him up, it zipped by so quickly, I couldn’t get in a shot with my camera.  But, I thought the show was fun. It was a delight to see someone I knew on the show and I  enjoyed the show to the end, learning not only about sports drinks, but vitamin b, winter’s affect on your skin, healthful anti-aging foods and foods that counter belly fat. Dr. Oz, about whom I know nothing, seems interested in  naturally healthful foods, using this one show as a predictor.   I enjoyed the show.
As for Warhol, He eventually got tired of that quote in the 70′s and then said, “I don’t use that line anymore. My new line is: “In fifteen minutes everybody will be famous.” He also said, “I’m so superficial.”  A telling line for someone who was quirky and famous for getting away with anything in the snobbish art world. His own quote, “Art is anything you can get away with.”

THERE ARE BEARS OUT THERE.

Yesterday, in excerpts from Bill Dryson’s book, I learned that getting ready for the trail can be very expensive. Today, I want to impart information about bears in the woods. Dryson writes:
“Imagine, if you will, lying in the dark alone in a little tent, nothing but a few microns of trembling nylon between you and the chill night air, listening to a 400 pound bear moving around your campsite. Now, imagine reading a nonfiction book packed with stories…soberly related, just before setting off alone on a camping trip of your own into the American wilderness. …David Anderson, aged twelve, at 3:30 a.m. his tent was abruptly rent with a swipe of claw and the bear, driven to distraction by the rich, unfixable, everywhere aroma of hamburger, bit hard into a flinching limb and dragged him shouting and flailing through the camp and into the woods.”  (Before his fellow campers could give chase, David was dead.)
“…while my wife slumbered peacefully beside me, I lay saucer eyed in bed reading clinically precise accounts of people gnawed pulpy in their sleeping bags, plucked whimpering from trees, noiselessly stalked as they sauntered unawares down leafy paths. People whose one fatal mistake was to smooth their hair with a dab of gel, or eat juicy meat, or tuck a Snickers in their shirt pocket for later, or have sex, or even, menstruate, or in some small way, pique the olfactory properties of the hungry bear. Or inadvertently round a bend and find a moody male bear blocking the path.”

Herrero (the author of the book Dryson is reading entitled Bear Attacks: Their Causes And Avoidance) recounts the indestructibility of grizzly. But, Dryson also learns that if he is to be pawed and chewed by a bear it would be Ursus americanus.  Black bears, with as many as 700,000 in North America,  are agile cunning, immensely strong and always hungry. Herrero researched and found only twenty-three black bear killing of humans  from 1900 to 1980. But, there were twenty-five non-fatal attacks per year from 1960 to 1980. (Black bear picture from People-First website, no attribution given for photographer.)

Herrero then outlines the avoidance strategies for black bears that are just the opposite from grizzly.  Playing dead is futile, a grizzly will lose interest in a limp form, but a black will continue chewing . It is foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree. To ward off an aggressive black bear, Herrero suggests making a lot of noise, banging pots and pans, throwing sticks and rocks and “running AT the bear”.  Then adds, of course this could merely provoke the bear. Dryson concludes that no one can tell you what to do. Bears are unpredictable.

I have had two encounters with bears in my native Michigan woods, as a child. Scared hell out of me. Three of us slept with our sugar and milk for our cereal near us, food  planned for the next morning’s breakfast. The bear mowed over our improvised log structure for that bit of cereal and sugar. I learned how fast I could run.
The second encounter was a bear standing and looking into the window of our cabin while we slept. It woke us instantly and wildly awake. A male, he went from window to window, seemingly unruffled by the presence of humans on the inside with a gun. We were ruffled.

I hadn’t given much thought to bears since then, even though one has recently been on my property robbing the garbage cans of my tenants. I explained to them they have to quit leaving cat food out at night in an automatic feeder. And, not to toss any food garbage out until the bear quits coming back. It worked after four visits. I’ve taken to freezing my meaty garbage and only put it out on dump day. I’m beginning to rethink walking the Appalachian Trail. I’ve re-arranged goals before. I guess I could be called Greenhorn, Buttercup, sissy. Yup!  But, I have yet to contact Hilda. Gotta do that!  If other people survive…surely I will too.

GOALS

Goals come and go or  they change with the passing years. When I was a kid, I wanted hair as long as this woman.  Now I’m quite happy with short hair. At one time it was my goal to parachute from an airplane and try hang gliding. My husband convinced me it was unfair to risk leaving my children without a mother if something went wrong. I never regretted rearranging my goals over the years because life was so full of wondrous things.

I first considered walking  the Appalachian Trail about  25 years ago, but it wasn’t a fire-breathing dragon goal, just a simmer at the back of the brain.  The length of the trail, which stretches from Maine to Georgia, is about 2,150 miles. Pretty daunting when you realize you have to carry everything with you, cooking utensils, tent, emergency medical kit, food, water. Adventurists who have done it term it a  life changing experience.
That goal re-emerged when I met a friend of Jim’s who is walking the Appalachian Trail in pieces.  Hilda is in her late 70′s, a former marine and in good health. She walks with two other women bit, by bit, mile by mile, each year. There are others who tackle the entire length, which takes around 5 months.  Jim and I have entered small areas of the trail while traveling the East Coast. Once in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina, and again at Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, and several places on the Blue Ridge Parkway. The urge began to stir anew. Good health is key to a 2,000 mile hike no matter how you do it.
Last night, we went to a seminar on hip, knee and shoulder replacements. I’m a candidate for hip replacement. I know I can’t walk the trail without doing something about an arthritic hip. I was amazed at what I learned about hip replacement, including an opinion from one participating surgeon that surgically replacing hips will be a thing of the past in possibly 20 years. I can’t wait that long for new technology. Now, is the time.
Pain is a motivator. For me, a greater motivator to consider hip replacement  surgery, is the current book I’m reading, Bill Bryson’s, A Walk In The Woods. Bryson walked the  Appalachian Trail in a five month stretch. I’m hoping that someone out there has walked the trail and will message me about their experience.  And, I will post some of Bryson’s  observations as I read. I’m also looking for a walking companion because this is not on Jim’s agenda.