We
are parked at my Cousin David Moore's get-a-way camp. His wife Melissa
took me on a first adventure, canoeing on Lake Kokanee in the morning.
Another cousin, Bob Moore joined us at noon. We toasted our get-together
and talked about family and it was interesting to compare our basic
family experiences.
From
right to left, my father William, Bob's father, John, David's father,
Ward, then brother's Dan and Leonard, left front row, with our
grandmother, Lydia. Daughter Mary, was born after Leonard, daughter
Adele, is the oldest, and George, the youngest of the family. Bob was
wondering about the order of their births. It surprises us what we
forget or failed to think about growing up.
David's
family, Eva, Ward, David, sister's Joan and Gail. A younger brother
Bruce, I have no pictures of. The Ward Moores were city folks and lived
most of their life in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Ward worked at several
levels in the Harnischfeger factory for 30 years and died at seventy
-nine.
I
only have one picture with Bob at about age seven, with his mother,
grandmother and sister Diane. He has an older brother, who was probably
taking this picture.
Bob's
father was a submarine Commander at the top of his military career and
died young at age 52. Bob was only 16 years old when his Dad died. John,
(we called him Uncle Jack) was away from home a great deal.
My
father was a farmer, logger, welder, laborer, jack of all trades. We
moved around a lot. Our fathers did not attend high school, because
there was no high school close enough for them to attend without getting
their own transportation. My dad died at age sixty-four.
The
youngest sister, Mary, recently died at age ninety-four. She is the
source of much of our family history. But what we discovered during this
time together were some strong, similar family traits.
It
behooves me to explain that I hadn't seen David in over 60 years. And
Bob and David hadn't seen each other in 43 years. It wasn't because our
families were estranged, it was the simple economics of the times.
My father, his brother's Dan and George, his sisters Adele and Mary, all migrated to the West coast.
Ward,
Leonard, & Jack stayed in the Mid-west. Realize that in the 40's
and 50's, and 60's, making a long distance phone call was prohibitively
expensive for average working people. Relatively few middle class people
had gobs of vacation time to take leisure trips, nor could they go
flying across country in airplanes. You either drove or took a train.
Everyone kept in touch by letter, which was a woman's responsibility.
David moved to the West Coast about 12 years ago from Pennsylvania. Both he and his wife Melissa are educators.
Bob
moved West in 1974 and I've had contact with he and his brother Jim off
and on in California. Bob is retired from being a Fireman.
What
we learned was that our father's didn't talk much about their past. In
their own homes, they ruled the roost. And, each of us reported being
raised in fear of our father's wrath.
They shared a common frugality. No waste, use everything. Pinch pennies. Stretch a nickel. Make do. It was a generational way of life.
David's
parents rented out rooms in order to help pay for the house. When that
was paid for, they lived in a duplex where again, the renter helped pay
the freight. Our father's were hard working, didn't waste words nor did
they discuss family business with their kids. David said that at age 12,
his father announced, "Mother has a job, and you are now the cook."
And, just like that he had to learn to learn to prepare meals. His
father taught him to cook meat and potatoes type of standard fare.
My
father was promoted to a foreman at the factory where he worked. He
didn't want to be in a position to fire friends, so without saying a
word to my mother, he quit his job, and moved us to a cheaper, smaller
rental. My mother got a job cleaning fish and we kids had to instantly
learn to fend for ourselves until he got another job.
In Bob's
family, the income was regular, his mother didn't work, but his father
was absent a great deal. So, mother would be less strict, then when Jack came
home, he'd lay down the law and the household had to accommodate and
switch to a different set of rules.
Twice when my dad was out of
work, my oldest brother went to work and sent money home to help out. I
worked the cafeteria at school for a free lunch, so it wasn't necessary
to pack my lunch. I babysat and bought most of my clothes for school.
David
had a jobs as a teen. He relates this story about his Dad's upbringing.
Ward wanted a motorcycle so he secretly worked a second job, bought the
motor cycle and stored it in a friend's garage. Of course, his mother
found out, and without a word, sold the motor cycle and kept the money.
That is kind of how things went.
Bob claims he really wants to be a
recluse. David says he has a bit of that in himself. We differ greatly
in that regard. But, my brother Bill is much like that, a loner. Has
lived alone for at least 30 years. Bill married twice, my other four
brothers and my sister, married once, divorced and never married again.
The
Moore father's were never demonstrative, they didn't use the "L" word,
couldn't say "I Love You" even to their wives. Never a hug, or a kiss,
or a pat on the rear in public. Maybe it was a generational thing, but I
think not.
Our grandmother divorced our grandfather, and not even
Aunt Mary knew why. Lydia did tell her that our grandfather, William
Senior, was good to her daughter Adele, from a previous marriage, and
he was a hard worker. She gave him credit for that.
Bob was a
rambler, and took up hitchhiking at age sixteen worrying his mother sick
while he was on the bum. He wandered all over the United States,
riding the rails, hitchhiking and living from pillar to post.
Independence, frugality, wanderlust, learn to make do. That is what life
was like.
My father bummed around the country before marriage, those
many years ago in the same fashion, riding the rails, living in hobo
camps after the depression.
I'm looking forward to future contact
with my West Coast cousins. Family is still a strong connection, even at
this late state of affairs.
My parents were hardworking, loyal, and of their time, just as we are of our time.
