Sunday, November 1, 2020


If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing yet lives for 150 years, and they tell us to exercise?  I don't think so.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered in numerical order:

1. I started out with nothing and still have most of it

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and Allbran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. 

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

5.If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck really would stop here. I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

10. It is hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.

11. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom or you owe money.

12. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

13. When I'm finally holding all he right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

14. It is not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

15. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

16. These days I spend a lot time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and wonder what I'm "here after."

17. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded?

18. Have I sent you this message before?? Or did I get it from you?

And last, some BUMPER SNICKERS:

Spotted in North Platte, Nebraska:  Keep your doors locked. This is Zucchini season!

On a crumpled bumper in Atlanta: "I break for tailgaters".

From California:  "Private bumper sticker. Do not read."