SOBER GRADUATION.

Graduation in most places is already past. My daughter Virginia was a volunteer parent for sober graduation this year.  Pinball machines,  pool tables, all manner of games and fun plus the traditional dancing and all night visiting, signing year books, eating gobs and gobs of good food, picture taking...good stuff. Her own High School graduation was sober by choice, at a private party, but Bret Harte did not have sober graduation-then. It put me in mind of my own pretty amazing High School Graduation Party.

My date arrived, and picked me up. I was all decked out in a  blue, sparkly formal. Our party was an all night affair ending with a morning breakfast. I had a pretty dress to change into if we decided to attend the breakfast.

A neighborhood couple I babysat for, had two sisters move in with them mid year. One sister, Jane, was my age and I introduced her around school. She was graduating as well and had a date. We decided to go in separate cars to the dance. I knew her date, Gary, but he had never met my date, Frank.

During the course of the evening I found out Frank wasn't much for dancing. He would slip out to his car and have a drink. I could smell it on him. I kept dancing.  About midnight, he just disappeared. Jane, who had been having  a good time, dancing and flirting was also imbibing and she passed out in Gary's car. He was looking for her and I was looking for Frank. What to do? Together we decided to bring Jane home. I knew her Uncle would be mad, so we carried her into my house. I  put her in my bed and stood her almost identical blue formal in the corner of my room. I changed clothes and went back to the gymnasium for more dancing and breakfast with Gary.

We ate breakfast and a group of kids decided to go to Lake Merritt in Oakland and ride the paddle boats and we  decided to go. I didn't call my parents. I'd be home about the time the breakfast after party was supposed to be over.

It was quite a shock when I arrived home about noon and my parents did a double take. Jane was still passed-out in my bed and her Uncle and sister were frantically calling my parents( and Gary's parents) to see if I knew where Jane was?  They kept telling them I was home and still asleep in bed.

With school's end,  Jane was shipped back to her family in Kansas, and I ended up with Gary as a steady boyfriend that summer.

As the quote goes:  "All's well that ends well."

RAISING A TEPEE.

American Indians built tepees big enough to shelter a family in winter or summer. Old movie westerns showed tepees that were open structures with a flap over the entrance. In the movies a tall person had to stoop a bit to enter and maybe four people could fit inside seated around a fire. I was privileged to watch Harvey White Bear and his wife Cathy put up this authentic tepee at Sky Hawk Ranch in Murphys.


The poles are 25 feet long and each one is a birch tree. Over several hundred years, the nomadic plains Indians learned to build a comfortable, practical dwelling  that served them well through summer and winter. Harvey walks a rope around and around the structure.  Each set of poles is tied the required six times.


The people took down their dwellings about every six months as they followed the herds of buffalo, their main source of food and materials. Precise ways, tried and true, are followed to make the job faster and easier to pick up and move on as a group.


Harvey spreads the canvas centered on one pole. He secures it at the required distance from the top so it won't slip when it is raised. It is a ritual. He loves staying in touch with his heritage by erecting this tepee according to the custom of his forefathers. "I don't get much practice," he said. "I was very happy the Clan asked me to put it up." Harvey belongs to the Bear Clan centered in Idaho. He lives in Wallace and is Cherokee, raised by Comanche with Miwuk cousins. There is another tepee like this one erected near Laytonville by the Owl Clan.


Cathy and "Grandmother Jan" loosely fold the canvas over the pole. Elder women and men are called "grandfather" and "grandmother." They are treated with special respect. It is an honor to be a grandmother or grandfather who council the young, and teach them the accumulated wisdom and  history of the tribe through the years.


Cathy picks  up the heavy end so Harvey can get a rope under the heavy mass of wood and canvas. He ties it in two places.


Cindy holds the heavy end, Harvey takes the great weight in the middle and Jan balances with the top of the pole. Cindy will place the end on the ground and keep her foot wedged against it while Harvey and Jan raise it up to the top.


That plan didn't work. It was too heavy to get to the top with just three people. And, it also hit some tree branches before it could be placed. Grandmother Jan suggested seating it narrow end first and avoid the branches.


Grandmother Jan got reinforcements by waking up a night working neighbor, Rob. Harvey climbed up a ladder and guided it into the right slot.

From the inside, the poles are pushed out as far as they will go pushing into the canvas and tightening it.


Harvey laces up the door which must face East.


The last two poles are inserted into leather cones that have been sewn into the canvas. This is the air conditioning and draft mechanism for the fire. They can be positioned to take advantage of the wind. They vent the smoke and can be flipped to the other side of the tepee if needed.

The last task is to stake the tent to the ground. Native Americans use metal stakes and canvas and every modern tool they can to make the job easier. Their ancestors had fewer choices. Grandfather John, joined us late in the process.

It took about three hours to raise the tepee. In summer, the air flows up from the bottom and out the top. The air conditioning.
During winter, another canvas is attached to the inside covering the draft. It can be rolled up and down as needed. This tepee will not be used as a dwelling, so the inside cover is not placed. Harvey is active with the boy scouts to teach his particular skills. But, he doesn't get many opportunities to put up a grand tepee. The ceremony to bless the dwelling with a gathering of the clan will depend on the health of Grandmother Tanya, who is ill and is the head of the Clan.
The Clan is of mixed tribes who have joined together for their own preservation.  Harvey mentioned that there were about 9,000 different Tribes in North America heavily populated with estimates close to a billion people. Now only 500 distinct tribes exist, most on the west coast. Their combined population is 5,295,700.  They've been decimated by European diseases, Indian Removal Acts, Broken Treaties, Indoctrination, Re-education, Confinement to Reservation life and killing off the buffalo. The loss of dignity, their oral history, art, respect, hope, language and pervasive alcoholism threatens the thin chain of life for many. Another stage of American imperialism and shame. Europeans are a patriarchal society and could never understand or respect a matriarchal society.
The tide is turning but it is still an uphill battle. I hope to be invited to the up-coming ceremony.

HOSPITAL AGGRAVATION.

I believe I'm reasonably patient. I know about waiting in line. A necessity of life.

I took my lab form to the hospital lab, busy, busy, busy, to accommodate my housemate who needed an endoscopy. I figured I'd get my blood test while she was under the anesthesia. Then have lunch at the cafeteria before heading to  Lowe's to buy some paint.

Her procedure was over before I got out of the lunch room. My registration was one big snafu. (Someday I'll tell you what snafu means.)

But we can rise above such irritations by consulting the sages.

Here then, a French Proverb: "Write your injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble." 
Now that is something worth embracing.

"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him."   Romain Gary
Hmmm! I wonder if women are exempt from that advice? Naw! Just kidding. It reminds me when reading the bible with my high school boyfriend, he would add, after all those manly quotes, "That means generic man, man or woman."  I might be a bit cynical, here. Bible, men only need apply?

Well, I ran across this Doctor's Office scenario by Ron Dentinger from Dodgeville, Wisconsin:

"My friend called his doctor's office for an appointment and was told, "'I'm sorry sir, we cannot fit you in for at least six weeks."
"I could be dead by then!"
"No problem, if your wife let's us know, we'll cancel the appointment."

Aha!  That made me laugh. I guess I didn't fail the sages after all.  Thanks to  Ron.

THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE BOY IN THE OLD MAN GONE FISHING.

The title quote is from J. Calder Joseph.

I like Science Magazine and I recently read an article about children suffering from slower muscle development and coordination. It apparently has teachers and pediatricians worried enough that studies were conducted on 407,000 children from age five to ten. They blame over-cautious parenting, "Don't get dirty."  "Hold my hand when we take a walk." "Get off the sidewalk, it will ruin your dress."

Parents fearing predators, or accidents, or getting lost, is keeping kids inside, and not encouraging enough social play. The studies proved that play is educating and provides better development of the brain and muscles. When we came home from school, when we finished our chores, we had the whole neighborhood to ramble and get up a game.

I remember when my youngest daughter allowed her kids to bike around the block and a worried parent reported to her that she had seen her son on the other side of the block; what she considered risky behavior.

Stuart Brown, Psychiatrist says: "A lack of play should be treated like malnutrition: It's a risk to your body and mind."

This is a recent quote from 2017 and I don't know where Stuart practices. But I do recall my boys playing on the side-walk or the grass,  snapping those little rolly bugs around like marbles; or trying to catch lizards.  And my daughter coming home from the school playground (where she walked by herself,) with scraped knees and a torn dress.

Diane Furstenberg said: "My best creation is my children."

I love that quote because it is my view of motherhood as well.

"Men want to improve only the world, but mothers want to improve their whole family;  a much harder task." Harriet Freezer.

But the quotes I remember with humor, are those I grew up with. "Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard."  That uttered when my folks were playing a rousing game of Smear. We could watch as long as we didn't kitbitz.

"Little Pitchers Have Big Ears"  When the neighbor lady was visiting and the subject of pregnancy or other delicate matters would come up. Then it was, "Outside with you," or "Go play".  I don't know the origin of those homilies  but it brings me in mind of the clever Americana  art work of Norman Rockwell with the tousled headed boy, sporting a black eye and a huge grin, waiting outside of the principle's office.  Or the little girl hanging out the window of the car sticking out her tongue to the wind.

I think children had more fun growing up before computers and organized and automated everything.

PASSWORD PRISON

I’m ranting today. Not about politics. I have not been blogging regularly and suddenly, I’m asked to sign in with my password that I haven’t used in years and I can’t remember.  But, to get a new password for my blogspot blog, I must have them send it to me on my g-mail address, which password I also can’t seem to find on my 8 pages of passwords. Crossed out and changed,  I have no idea which one is current.

Google bought blogger and everything has to be Google. Google is trying to take over the world and I try to avoid all things Google.

My frustration is the rant. I hate a zillion passwords. We are told not to use the same one for everything. But a new password for everything is not working. Every time you have a snag you change your password.  In a hurry. And Google bought blogger. Grrr! In the interest of my sanity I have to laugh at my self-made password prison. Maybe I can find a quote that addresses passwords?  Hmm. Unlikely.

But there are a lot of them about fools.

“The world is full of fools and; and he who would not wish to see one, should break his mirror.”   Boileau

“There is a foolish corner even in the brain of a sage.”  Aristotle

As for prison:  “We are all prisoners, but some of us are in cells…” Kahlil Gibran

HAVING BABIES AT THIS AGE?

You may remember that Ken and Laurie’s dachshunds were killed by a coyote last year. Well, they have new babies. Rider and Scout. A beautiful pair just 8 weeks old. Babies, just barely potty trained. Laurie swore they would not commit to another pet that lives for twenty years and then breaks your heart when they die. They are your fur children.

Ken has been really involved with these two, since Laurie has been working and he is the major trainer and he loves it. He feels they have really bonded to him.

This is Rider. He has a favorite stuffed toy just like all babies do it seems. He is guarding it from me and wouldn’t let me get near him or his toy.

Brother Clark and Sister-in-law Theresa came with dinner complete and joined us. The guys barbequed steaks and we had some good zinfandel wine. The foursome is headed for the Mellencamp Concert at Kautz. Even I know Mellencamp, “I live in a small town…”
Theresa is a great cook and so is Laurie. I am lucky because I don’t really enjoy cooking for just myself much anymore.

They were off to the concert by 5:30. And I baby-sat the babies. Ken and Laurie are on vacation and took the dogs camping. They socialized them with neighboring campers and bigger dogs. A perfect way. They also have a young neighbor near home who comes once a day to  play with them and take them outside. No diapers to change, but they need a walk.

Pink for Scout and Blue for Rider. They were straining at their leashes to go with Mom, Dad and the crew. Did they socialize with Gram? It was tough. Scout was good and took a long two hour nap. Rider howled and cried and I had to take him outside and walk around and around the house with him. He had to see for himself that the car was gone. He’d smell where it was parked. He was miserable for about three hours. Then, all tuckered out, I grabbed him and held him on the couch and he slept peacefully in my arms. We are sort of friends now. He still isn’t sure I wasn’t responsible for his missing parents. But, he is cautiously letting me pet him if Dad is nearby. Raising babies six years before retirement?  I’m glad it is them and not me. Like all grandchildren. You get to enjoy them when they visit and then send them home. Since I’m into quotes, the most common is “A dog is man’s best friend.”  From whence it came I do not know. This one is funny.
Groucho Marz said:  “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog you can’t read.”

Well, that’s all folks!

TROUBLES LIGHT.

We all complain of troubles at some point. Now that I'm getting older, some highly paid Board of Trustees has decided to cut my pension in half. I can  moil and muddle. But, it is said: "If all people brought their miseries to the same table, most would be glad to bring their own home again."

And it is true. Many people would be glad to trade places with me. It's called, Count Your Blessings. I have food, shelter, security and the love of family and friends.

Henry Ford said: "Don't find fault, find a remedy."

John Peter Flynn said:" The first step in solving a problem is to tell someone about it."

I don't know who Flynn is, but I'm sure he never heard of the internet. So, I guess I've told a lot of someones. And for that, I have to chuckle because its a good day when you don't see your name in the obituaries.

Hah!

WISDOM AND LISTENING.

At my age I tend to think I have a bit of collective wisdom. But what I like about quotes is they get right to the point with few words and often with humor

So, here goes:
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.    Doug Larson from United Features syndicate.

And:

Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.   James Baldwin.

DOWNSIZING MY BLOG

I have literally hundreds of cousins and we communicate by email more than postal mail. But writing by the human hand and postal mail are becoming a lost art. I'm sorting through boxes of cards and old mail and was reminded that my aunts, my mom and some friends wrote to me and often included a neat quote at the bottom of their letters.
Since I'm not traveling, and most of my activities from home are mundane, I've decided to blog quotes. The first one is from President Roosevelt.

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else. -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)

However, I've decided I can't change the world. I have to focus on what is most important to me which is my home and family, genealogy and my art. To that end, you won't find political rants on my blog. Simple quotes will be the mainstay and only important events in my life will be blogged. Surgeons have to serge, speakers have to speak, and writers have to write.

Ciao

Mary